Trebek brings a cultural hammer down on Unsuspecting Nerd, turns his brain into soup, then takes $3,200 back.

2018 is 36 hours old and white guy coolness ratings have taken some MAJOR L’s.

First, that dipshit Logan Paul videoed himself in Japan’s suicide forest, and when one enters the Suicide Forest, one will inevitably stumble across a Suicide Tree, and that’s exactly what happened. Logan Paul came across a fresh Suicide Body, aaaaaaaaand he laughed. Then posted the video. Idiot.

But! That was a mistake. Mistakes can be forgiven over time. Best example, Laker’s let that butt-pirate Kobe Bryant sail off into the sunset with not one, but TWO numbers retired at The Staples Center after he tried to…………..wait for it……….WAIT…………steal the booty.

This however, this, is like a Hiromshima to white street-cred.

Look at him!

The poor shmuck’s face as (with regret in his voice over swinging the sword that eviscerates this defenseless dweeb) Trebek explains to him, “The correct pronunciation is ‘Gang-STAH’ not ‘Gang-STER'”, is pathetic. Pathetic! His mainframe is fried. I can’t tell if he wants to cry, cuss Trebek out, break out his inhaler, or simply vanish into the Upside Down.

His animal comparison is easy.

I really hoped for some form of retaliation. Something along the lines of a tasteful, well articulated rebuttal. I would have even settled for a couple quick middle-finger zingers like White Collar criminal James King.

Nope, nada, zilch, nothing.

There’s a sign of life there at the end when he blinks. I don’t have any babies, but I know when one is shitting itself. Listen, think back to your last shart, what did your face look like when you realized? Bingo! The contestant is so GD embarrassed, he severs ties with his sphincter and shits himself on camera, like this baby.

He is this helpless pup, alive in human form, attempting to sad-dog his way into a rescue, but everyone around just holds their camera and records. Zinger coming…..

Somebody should throw em a bone or something, cause that’s ruff.

We need something.

Come back soon Gordon Hayward. Bring your haircut, stay healthy, and avoid dancing. You’re our only hope.